So with the excitement of my new job and new company, some business had to be taken care of with High Noon Entertainment (HNE).
As I eloped to Los Angeles to connect with my newest job affair, I quickly realized the difficulties at hand with beginning our new life together. HNE was beautiful, had a magnificent office and was surrounded by a constant populous of friends, family, and subsidiaries. Universal, Playboy Entertainment, and Geffen Records, just to name a few.
Our conversations in Wisconsin were ones of big dreams and turning concepts into unscripted reality. As we grew closer and began to develop plans for the future, we would talk about traveling across the world hunting for houses, or begin wedding plans and fly out to New Jersey to pick out the perfect wedding cake. It was difficult though, we made the decision to not move in with each other and this caused a great deal of trouble and heartache. We considered seeking relationship help from a local matchmaker, but knew it was too late. It was as if each of us was waiting for the other to pull the trigger. What began as an incredible employment affair, unwrapped to reveal a relationship torn apart by financial instability and commitment issues.
I felt I had given it a great effort. I tried my hardest to keep us together, but what began as late night telephone calls and gossiping with friends about our shared infatuation, quickly turned to weeks without emailing or sending a simple BBM. Something had to happen. We needed a change and fast.
This morning, as I prepared my breakfast, I found myself pensively standing for five minutes or more without spreading my strawberry cream cheese or sipping my coffee. I kept fighting the idea of quitting. “I’m not a quitter” I’d say to myself, “by why does this feel like I am?” Never mind the fact that I was talking to myself over breakfast, I knew I was losing my mind. We never made it official, I’m not wearing a company watch and they certainly didn’t give me a cell phone that I would have to awkwardly return. It could be a clean break, a simple phone call with minimal crying and we’re done. We’re passed it. The time had come and I had to give it a try.
As I sat with my cell phone in one hand and my bagel in the other, I began searching for HNE’s number in my phone. Butterflies began fluttering as I approached the letter H in my phonebook. As I hit send and placed the phone against my ear, the hair and my neck stood parallel with my arm. I sat sweating, trying to stay focused. After few moments, the phone began to ring. The first ring came by and I heard a couple outside arguing with each other. The second ring matched the sound of a plate being thrown at an old lover out the window. Was this foreshadowing for the conversation soon to come? I could only hope not. Time seemed to slow down between each ring as the inevitable end to our relationship drew near. The third ring came with the screeching of wheels from my neighbor’s two-door roaring out of the alley. He always seemed to make a dramatic exit when he left. With the end of their relationship, he must have known that tire tracks were the only thing that could stay forever. With their break up, much to his chagrin, he had to leave her with something to remember him by. The fourth ring came with a sound of desperation. I began begging the phone to go to a recording. I knew I wanted to break up, but I wasn’t ready. Maybe this was a sign that I needed more time to think.
Her voice came on and the feeling of nostalgic ecstasy ran throughout my body. “I’m sorry, the number you have dialed is unavailable” she said. She always had a way of conveying a direct message. So quick, and with so little emotion - never leaving herself vulnerable. She began advising me to press zero, but I knew that old trick. That’s the easy way out. I pulled the phone away and smashed the key pad to hang up instead. What may seem as an over-dramatic way to hang up, is strangely efficient given the small buttons on a blackberry.
As I sat contemplating the last few moments, I realized what felt like hours had only been a few pathetic seconds. I began dreading making the call again. Knowing full well that it had to be done. I began plotting my second approach, but was interrupted by the shrill sound of Justin Bieber’s “Somebody to Love.” I knew immediately who was at the end of the other line. “Somebody to Love” was our song for as long as I could remember. It was perfect melody for our relationship; with minimal time to waste, that song always ensured I’d pick up the phone immediately. I originally had clanking pans, but Bieber’s voice seemed to do the trick that much better.
I answered the phone to avoid any more audio related brain damage and slowly brought it to my ear. Timidly, I choked out the words “Hello, this is Dan sfeaking.”
Sfeaking? Are you kidding me? You’ve been planning this conversation for four paragraphs now and you couldn’t even pronounce the word ‘speaking’ correctly? I always chalk this up to a nervous tick in high pressure situations, but this was High Noon on the other side. “You’re better than that” I thought to myself. The woman on the other line began talking.
“Hi Dan, it’s Rachel from High Noon Entertainment.”
As she was speaking, I grabbed myself in between the legs and responded with vigor.
“Oh, of course Rachel! So nice to hear from you”
Shocked at the volume and speed of my response, Rachel took a much softer approach to her next few lines.
“Uh, yes. And you, of course. Listen, I apologize for not having gotten back to you recently. It’s been so busy around here with it being, uh, Cougar Month on Lifetime, but it appears you might have just called?” She questioned with a mousy tone.
I could tell she knew something was up. She hasn’t been busy, nobody in this Godforsaken town has been busy. HSE is drowning in the economy along with the rest of us. That, and I’m pretty sure there is no such thing as Cougar month on Lifetime. That would make history like Shark Week and I had heard nothing of a special on the animal and/or hot, female, forty somethings. Regardless, I chose to not question her excuse and opted to move forward.
“You see, I’ve just been doing some thinking,” I muttered.
“Well that’s good to hear, Dan. I’m glad college was such a good investment.”
We both laughed. I did a little harder than she in an effort to cover up my discomfort. A normal chuckle turned surprisingly into a canon blast of a belly roar. I quickly regained my composure, set my bagel on my Chipotle napkin, and moved on.
“I think I’m going to go in a different creative direction” I stated with confidence.
Creative direction? What the hell am I saying? I got a new job - that’s it. Nothing cooler than that… Why am I making this into something it’s not?
“Er, I got a new job,” I corrected myself sounding more pathetic with each word spoken.
Rachel took a moment and in a confused manner replied, “Well, that’s terrific to hear. I’m glad something worked out for you.”
I knew what was going through her mind at that point. She wanted me to ask her to come with, but I couldn’t. I needed a clean break and couldn’t drag my problems with me forever.
“Yep,” I replied, “And with a new company and everything”
“As most jobs are!” she quickly croaked back.
That jackface! I thought to myself. She’s going to make this harder than I thought. Oh, a rose by any other name… wait, that doesn’t make sense here. Stay focused, D-Rail, you’re almost home free.
“Yes, well this is a good job. A very good job, actually. I believe I get my own computer… so… because I have to write lots of stuff. You know the game, baby. I mean, Rachel.”
“Of course you do.” She said in a very jealous nature. I could tell the devastation of this break up was going to weigh her down significantly.
“Yes, well I’ve decided it’s best that we part ways now. I begin next week and don’t want to drag this on much longer.” I finally have my confidence now and am taking her down like a beaver on a tree. Realizing it’s a good thing she can’t hear my inner thoughts and comparisons, I end the conversation.
“Well goodbye, Ms. Rachel, afar off thee with thee,” I stated while pounding my fist on the table. I wanted to give her something to think about as we parted ways on the telephone.
“I’m not sure what that means, Mr. MacBride, but take care. We’ll be in touch”
“Never again, miss. Never again.” I replied while hearing the click of the other line.
Well, that was it. As I stated earlier, what began as something beautiful, has ended with heartbreak. HSE is in a much worse place, but I get to move onto bigger and better things. You can’t close a door until you open another one I always say. Or some version of that.
As I hung up the phone with a swift smash of the keypad, I sat back in my chair and took a sip of my lukewarm coffee. Looking up at the ceiling fan swirling ever so slowly, a daze fell over me. Maybe it was the caffeine or artificial sweetener in my three weeks expired, low-fat cream cheese, but the world felt more alive to me. I knew it was time to begin the next chapter.
